His butler, confused
by Dark Lyric Albany
Summary: Sebastian is amazed at how far his young master has come in his training. Ciel is becoming quite the strong demon. Only one problem... he's been acting strange lately. Is there something he's been hiding? Told in a secret POV. YAOI
1. Chapter 1

"That was messy.. Don't you think, My Lord?"

"How else was I supposed to do it? A shot to the head should have killed him."

A young boy about 13 stood covered in a stranger's blood with a melancholy expression that made the man next to him shudder.

"Master...please put this on and wipe your face."

The man handed the boy a handkerchief and threw his own jacket around his shoulders, buttoning it up so it covered most of the blood stains on his blouse.

The boy smiled.

"Sebastian, you had me kill a Shinigami, didn't you?"

The man nodded serenely.

"How else would you learn, young master? At your age, you should have already mastered the martial arts. But, yet, not one ounce of perpetual darkness seeps through your veins. To this day, no one would believe you are a demon."

The boy scoffed. "I did not hire you to tell me what I do not excel at, Sebastian. Only to teach me so that I do so effectively."

The man nodded. "Yes, my Lord."

The boy knelt down beside the corpse, digging for something in the front pockets of its pants. I saw enough of his face then to describe him. He had one eye covered by heavy gauze, and the other was crystal blue. He was topped with a head of blue-black hair that just came past his ears, which were slightly pointed. I gasped and he looked at me-through me- causing me to step back. I knew that face...

"Master, what are you looking for?" the man called Sebastian stood behind him, glaring down at the face of the corpse. It was a man of pale skin and dark brown hair and glasses that by now were shattered right off his nose.

The boy apparently finds what he's looking for in a solid gold box, and stands, hovering a thick black heel above the man's face.

"The bastard stole my ring."  
>He then stomps on the corpses face, and walks away to the awaiting carriage down the alley. Sebastian kneels down and frowns at the disheveled, bloody face that was scattered on the pavement. I could tell by his expression that they had a long past together. "Till next time, William," he mutters as he follows his master into the carriage. <p>


	2. Chapter 2

-Chapter One-

"Give me back the SPOOOOONNNN!" A blonde teenage boy bounced around and chased an older blonde man holding a spoon over his head.  
>"Come and get it, Finny!" The man laughed and stuck the spoon down his pants. Finnian began to cry. "Now how am I supposed to eat my pie?" he cried.<br>"You two, shut up! Master and Sebastian are going to be home soon. GET TO WORK!"  
>A pink haired maid with very large spectacles screamed at them and walked into the near bathroom with a scrub brush and mop. "Alright, Mey-lynn, don't get your panties in a wad!"<br>"You hush about my bloomers!" she shouted back. Finnian gained composure and placed his pie on the counter.  
>"Bard, don't cook anything, okay? Let Tanaka do it."<br>Tanaka in his short chibi form, appeared in the doorway with a questioned look.

"Tanaka, fix dinner!" Finnian repeated.

"Ho Ho Ho!" Tanaka replied, forming into a grown elderly man and began to prepare stew.

The Phantomhive estate was restored a year ago after it burnt to the ground for the second time, and now it was even bigger and better than before. The gang was always hard at work to keep the place nice and neat. Mey-lynn wasn't the only maid anymore. That changed when she met her best friend Nina, who was hired by Master Ciel last year when the manor was restored. Nina Hishunama was an amazing seamstress and persuader, finally getting Mey-lynn to stop wearing her glasses a few months before. I lived here now as well. But no one is aware of that, so I try to keep quiet. Especially when they're busy.

About a half an hour later, Tanaka had dinner on the table and the door burst open with Sebastian carrying the same boy before. He was gruesomely covered in blood and shivering.  
>"Sebastian, take me to my room... Please." The young boy was shaken from the earlier events of the day. Sebastian nodded solemnly and trotted up the stairs with his master in his arms. "Yes, my Lord."<p>

They disappeared and Finnian, the blonde boy from before, hung his head. "It's like they never notice we're here anymore," he spoke to Nina, who was dusting off the windows by the door.

"I see. Why is Master Ciel all covered in blood?" her voice was as solemn as her expression. She got down from her chair and smoothed out her white apron and blue dress. It resembled Mey-lynn's, and if it wasn't for Nina's bright blue hair and green eyes, they'd look just alike.

"I have no idea. Sebastian said that they were going on a 'business call' and they'd be back as soon as it was finished.. Maybe things turned sour. You know what happens when Master doesn't get his way."

Nina chuckled. "Oh, yes."

Now, there were also two more members of the Phantomhive Estate. There was Penelope Light, a training nurse who agreed to come work for the Master simply because of Sebastian, and Xena Kan, a Japanese opium seller who claimed to be Lao's long lost son. Xena was nineteen, and followed Bardolph around everywhere he went. The people of the house used to bet on whether or not Xena was gay. Now, they usually just talked about the secretive actions of Lord Phantomhive and his butler, Sebastian. The two have come inseparable recently, and not one of the servants in the estate knew why. Tanaka was the only one that went up to Ciel's room anymore, but he never did say a word.

"Tanaka," Nina started, "Go ask Master if he wants any supper."

Tanaka, now back to chibi, nodded and hobbled up the stairs.

"Let me remove your shoes, my Lord," Sebastian gently knelt down as the boy sat on the edge of the bed. He removed the black heeled shoes from his masters feet and began to rub them softly through the socks. The boy closed his eyes.

"Sebastian, may I ask you something?"

"Yes, my Lord?" Sebastian looked up at his master and sighed. The boy looked so helpless sitting there, covered in a shinigami's blood. His eyes were tired, and his body was trembling like he'd just had a horrible nightmare.

"Sebastian, why do I have to be so strong? Why can't I just live my life the way I used to? I'm Ciel Phantomhive, Earl of Phantomhive. I'm not some demon trainee who can't fend for himself. At least, that's how I feel."

The butler nodded and took Ciel's hand gently. "Young Lord, being a demon was never part of the contract. However, somehow, I feel it was meant to be. I, as your butler, have never left your side. Now, more than ever, I think the contract between us is necessary for your survival."

"What are you talking about? The angel is dead, and Alois promised to leave us alone for a while. I see no point in anyone trying to kill me now…"

Sebastian stood up and removed Ciel's hat, smoothing his hair down gently with his hand. He turned the young lord's head to look at him and slowly slid the eye patch away from his face. "Young Lord," he began, slowly removing his blood-stained white gloves to reveal a similar marking on his left hand, "We are bonded for eternity. You are in my world now. You must believe that this life is not the same as yours once was. There are things out there that you have yet to see: Things that even I am afraid of. Those things will try to kill you, and if you are not strong enough to fight them off, then I will lose my master once again. I can't go through that…not again."

Ciel grabbed the hand with their bond tattooed on the back and placed it over his eye with the same marking. His deep blue eye seemed to glow with deep feeling. "Sebastian," he said, "Then teach me how to use my power."

There was a knock on the door as Tanaka walked into the room. He was clearly not fazed by what he saw, almost like he was used to it. Ciel tore away from Sebastian and covered his eye.

"What, Tanaka?"

"Dinner, Master?"

"In a minute. I have to clean up, then I'll be down."

Tanaka nodded and disappeared. Sebastian stood and helped the young lord into the bathroom.

"My Lord, you are filthy and cold. Please take a hot bath, and I will prepare some comfortable attire."

He began to remove Ciel's clothing. Untying his stained blue tie and unbuttoning his blouse. Ciel closed his eyes as Sebastian finished and began to draw a bath.

"Sebastian, you are filthy too."

"Yes, my Lord," Sebastian agreed, looking down at his stained chest. His master had not been able to walk up to the door, so he had to carry him inside. The shock from killing Will must have gotten a hold of him. But Sebastian knew it had to be done.

"Therefore, you should take a bath," Ciel turned to look in the mirror, his eyes widening at the sight of all the blood on his face. It wasn't his own…Nor did it belong to an enemy. In his mind, William was always a friend.

"My Lord," Sebastian placed a hand on Ciel's shoulder and led him to the bath, "Please clean up. I will do so in the washroom downstairs."

"No."

Sebastian looked at the boy, who was now slowly stepping into the hot bubble bath.

"Why not, my lord?"

"They'll see you. You must clean up here."

Ciel motioned the other side of the long tub. The boy's body didn't even stretch to cover half of it. Another person could easily fit in there with him, but Sebastian hesitated.

"Besides, you have to wash all this blood off my face. And that's an order."

"Yes my Lord." And without another word, Sebastian slowly removed his clothes and stepped into the tub on the side across from his master. Ciel smiled and let the heat of the water take over him and calm his nervous body. His body was changing; he knew that ever since the transformation. It was becoming stronger, yet vulnerable at the same time.

Sebastian grabbed a bar of soap and a cloth hanging from beside the shower, and scooted closer to his master.

"My Lord, shall I wash behind your ears?"

Ciel nodded. "Please." 


	3. Chapter 3

"Sebas-TIAAAAAAAH!" Ciel shouted and shook his head back and forth, struggling to get away from Sebastian's grip.  
>"Hold still, my Lord. It's not going to hurt as bad if you'd just hold still."<br>The two had gotten out of the tub and dried off, and the young master was dressed in a fitted blue bathrobe. Sebastian had rid himself of his bloody garments and was dressed in a sleek black tuxedo. He was brushing Ciel's hair, trying to get a huge knot out from behind his ear. The boy's hair had surely gotten longer since his transformation: it was almost down to his shoulders. It was a beautiful dark grey-blue, but it got tangled easily. Sebastian fought the knot furiously, and finally it came loose.  
>"There. Now all the blood is out of your hair. You may go dine in peace, My Lord."<br>Ciel stood and walked to the door when he saw Finnian standing just outside his room.  
>"What do you want?"<br>Finnian's face flushed and he backed up. "Master, there's someone at the door. Should I let her in?"  
>Ciel frowned. "A guest at this hour?"<br>"It must be important, My Lord," Sebastian appeared behind him and handed him fine dining attire, "Looks like you will have to change out of your robe."  
>Ciel scoffed and sent Finnian away to open the door. "Fine, let her in. Tell Bardolph to cook enough for three. Sebastian will be dining with me tonight."<br>The smile on Sebastian's face could not be missed. He helped his master get dressed and followed him down to the dining hall, where he saw a full dinner already displayed on the table, and Mey-Lynn and Nina talking to a young woman with long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. Ciel nodded her way and whispered to Sebastian, "Who is she?"  
>"That is Gennie Diamond, my Lord," Sebastian whispered quietly, pulling out Ciel's chair so he could sit, "Though I do not know what she would be doing here."<br>Ciel sat at the head of the table with his head down. "Sebastian, show our guest to her seat."  
>Ms. Diamond sat across from him, and Sebastian took his seat beside Ciel. Bardolph uncovered their dishes when they were seated: A fine beef stew with curry bread, and poured them all some tea.<br>"Thank you, Bard," Ciel nodded, "You all may leave."  
>A silent moment passed, but no one moved. Mey-lynn and Nina stood close by with their backs against the wall, their eyes plastered on their master's face.<br>Ciel began to feel uneasy. Why were they looking at him that way? He reached up to make sure his eyepatch was there, and it was. So there was nothing they should notice.  
>"I said, you may leave now."<br>They kept staring, and Ciel closed his eyes and pounded his fist on the table. "What are you staring at? I SAID LEAVE!"

The maids then bowed, turned, and ran into the kitchen. Satisfied, Ciel grabbed his spoon and looked at his guest.  
>"So, who are you? What do you want with the Earl of Phantomhive?"<br>The girl looked at him through very tinted glasses that rested on her nose. She pushed then up and smiled.  
>"I am Gennie Diamond. I work for Mr. Sutcliffe at the Shinigami Library. I am a librarian there for souls A-C."<br>Ciel turned to see Sebastian spit out his tea. The girl gasped and Ciel had to pat the butler on the back to keep him from choking.  
>"Sebastian! How rude!" The boy shouted, but he handed the man a napkin to wipe up the tea.<br>"My apologies, my Lord," Sebastian hung his head and wiped his mouth. "I was surprised at the mentioning of that filthy creature." He coughed and looked at Gennie. "And what do you mean, 'Mr. Sutcliffe'?"  
>The girl smiled and reached into her bag.<br>"Master Grell has gained the position of Head Shinigami now that Will is dead. It wasn't any of our decisions. Anyway, Mr. Sutcliffe wishes to meet with you, Mr. Phantomhive."  
>She pulled out a small envelope and handed it to Ciel. The boy took it and gazed down at the sloppy red penmanship.<br>"Grell Sutcliffe is the Head of Shinigami's?" Sebastian's eyes darted to his master as he opened the letter. Ciel frowned as he remembered everything that little creep did to him. 

_Bochan!  
>It's me! Grell Sutcliffe! Remember me? Anyway, I need you to come visit me soon. Please bring my darling Sebby also. I have important news to share with you two!<br>See you soon,  
>Grell<br>_

"That..That..."  
>Sebastian shook his head and stood up.<br>"Very well, Gennie. Thank you. We will come see him tomorrow morning. Now, if you'll excuse me, my Master must retire."  
>He grabbed Ciel's hand gently and helped him up, taking the letter from his shaking hands.<br>"Thank you," Gennie bowed and left. When the door closed, Sebastian dragged Ciel up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door. He pressed his back against it and panted.

"What the hell is with you?" The boy asked, untying his tie and reaching for his sleepwear, "Why are you so nervous?"  
>"I am not, my Lord," Sebastian looked at his master with full panic in his eyes. "I am terrified."<br>"Sebastian, you can get scared?"

The young lord's voice was gentle and caring. He dressed himself and walked over to Sebastian, leading him to the bed.  
>"Sebastian...are you alright?"<br>The butler nodded.  
>"I'm alright, my Lord. I just can't believe Grell is.. Is..."<br>He hung his head and felt his young master's hands on his shoulders.  
>"Sebastian, we should sleep. Please prepare me for bed."<br>Sebastian nodded and stood up.  
>"Yes, my Lord."<br>He tucked Ciel in, blew out the candle on the nightstand, and went to leave when he heard his master stop him.  
>"Wait. Sebastian.. Stay with me."<br>"What, my Lord?"  
>"Stay with me. That's an order."<br>Sebastian smiled and sat on the bed next to his beautiful master.  
>"Yes, my Lord."<p>

Ciel slid over and made room for his favorite butler. The man who stayed by his side no matter what. And sometimes, just sometimes, he wondered if Sebastian actually wanted to stay with him.

"You are thinking, my Lord."  
>Ciel nodded and rolled on his side, closing his eyes.<br>"What about?" Sebastian's voice was gentle.  
>"Sebastian, do you like to stay with me?"<br>"I will always be by your side, my Lord."  
>Ciel turned to look at his butler.<br>"But do you want to be by my side? Answer honestly."  
>"My young lord," Sebastian smiled and let his face drop extremely close to his master's,<br>"I will always enjoy being by your side."

Ciel couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Sebastian. Now sleep."  
>"Yes, master."<br>Ciel closed his eyes again and felt soft, warm hands on his shoulders.  
>"May I rub your back, My Lord?"<br>Ciel nodded and moved closer, sighing softly as Sebastian began to massage his back.

_Today has been eventful,_ the boy thought, _I wonder what Grell wants_.


	4. Chapter 4

"Good morning, my young lord. It's time to wake up."

Sebastian's warm voice interrupted Ciel's sleep, and the boy opened his eyes. The butler, who had woken up hours before, stood at the edge of the bed with morning tea. He was dressed in his usual clothes. Ciel figured he must have done laundry.

Ciel rolled back over and groaned. "Five more minutes, Sebastian. I had a rough night."

"What do you mean, my Lord?" the butler set the tea on the night stand and, with permission, sat next to his master on the bed. Before he had gotten up to take care of some morning chores, Sebastian laid with him for hours watching him shake in his sleep.

No matter how badly Ciel tossed and turned, Sebastian could not fight the urge to let him sleep. He was so darn peaceful..

"You were dreaming, my Lord."

Ciel sat up and rubbed his eyes and Sebastian handed him his eyepatch.

"I know. It was such a weird dream."

"Would you like to talk about it, My Lord?"

Ciel wrapped the string to the eyepatch around his messy hair and tied it, leaving his eye to disappear.

"I had a dream about you."

Sebastian smiled. He remembered from the night before rubbing his young master's back softly as he said his name in his sleep.

"Did you now, young master?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter now. It was only a dream."

He stood and spread out his slender arms. "Dress me, Sebastian. We have to go see Grell today."

The man obliged, shuddering at the thought.

Downstairs, Mey-lynn was dusting the counters while Nina straightened up the dish racks. Penelope was pacing around the dining hall, frantically trying to figure out why 'her Sebastian' wasn't downstairs yet.

"Nina, do you think that master has changed?"

Nina smiled. "No, but that's just because I haven't been here as long as you have."

"But it's been a year. Surely you've seen him change a little.."

Nina shrugged and put a dirty plate in the sink.

"Mey-lynn, where's Xena?"

"Who knows?"

"I'm just really concerned. Xena follows that man around like a dog. Bard, I mean. And I hardly see_ HER _anymore. It seems you and I are the only ones who get things done around here. I don't think it's right..."

Mey-lynn shrugged and smoothed down her skirt.

"Master's coming down to get his cape and cane," Finnian informed them from the living room. Nina sighed and grabbed the young lord's cane from the closet, and walked over to the door where Ciel's cape lay drying on the racks.

Sebastian was the first down, followed by the tired boy who was dressed in fine business attire.

"Nina, we are off to see Grell Sutcliffe. My cape and cane, please."

Nina couldn't help but notice the words of her master were now quite kind. Almost as if he was asking, not demanding.

"Here you are, master. Enjoy your visit."

The boy, seemingly in a daze, had Sebastian take the things and follow him out the door. Outside, the very same carriage that carried them on their bloody mission yesterday waited on the cobblestone path for the young boy and his butler. Ciel climbed inside and frowned. at the lingering fog of yesterday's events.

"My lord," Sebastian took the seat across from him and smiled. "Are you alright?"

Ciel looked out the window as the trotting horses carried him away from his home. He couldn't help but thinking about his dream.

"Sebastian, tell me something honestly."

The Earl looked at his butler and tried to read that tireless expression on his face, but as always, it just came across as a smile.

"Yes, My Lord."

Ciel sighed, trying to mentally map out his question so that it made more sense.

"Have you ever wanted to understand a feeling, but you didn't know where to start, because you didn't know what the feeling was?"

"I do not believe so, my Lord."

Ciel's heart jumped at the sudden seriousness of his butler's voice. He bit the inside of his lip softly to keep himself from asking any more stupid questions.

"Something's troubling you, M'lord?"

Although he was forming at as a question, Sebastian knew his master was in a terribly deep state of thought. The boy sat before him in silence with his head down, eyes closed, and his frail hands clenched in fists in his lap.

"My lord..."

Sebastian removed his master's hands from his lap and uncurled them gently, leaving them in his own. "You are troubled by something."

"Stop repeating the obvious, Sebastian," Ciel protested, "I'm fine."

Sebastian let go of Ciel's hands and pulled out his watch to look at the time. He smiled for a reason unknown and put the watch back in his coat pocket.

"My lord, we have arrived."

The carriage slowed as the Shinigami Library came into view.

"Come in!"

A high-pitched voice masked with false seriousness answered as Sebastian knocked on the door to the office that once was Will's. Ciel cringed at the noise, knowing there was no turning back now. Sebastian turned the knob as slowly as he could, pushing the door open with his other hand until he made a crack in the doorway big enough to see inside.

What he saw made him want to puke, if demons could do so. The walls that were once grey had been painted red. There were voodoo dolls hanging from the walls and lined up against the back wall by the window. But what ultimately made him want to hurl was that tiny red heeled shoe bobbing up and down on the desk.

"Sebastian, open the door," Ciel nudged him and he opened it all the way, stepping inside.

Grell Sutcliffe was sitting in a rolling chair behind a black desk with his feet propped up on top of it. He was looking at a voodoo doll dressed in a black tailcoat and white gloves, when he caught eye of Sebastian and instantly darted over to him.

"My Basu-chan! You've come to rescue me from my ruby tower! O, I knew this day would soon come!"

The lanky shinigami with long red hair hugged the demon tight and kicked his leg up out of joy. Sebastian stood un-phased as Ciel tried to hold back a chuckle.

"I have missed you so much, my sexy demon! But have no fear! A lady is always capable of waiting forever for her true love to return!"

Sebastian pulled away, almost knocking Grell down. "You are not a lady."

"You didn't have to be so mean, Bassy..." Grell whimpered and hung his head.

Ciel decided this was a good time to make himself known, and stepped out from behind the protection of his butler.

"Grell, please calm down and tell us why you called us here."

The shinigami instantly perked up and walked over to Ciel, arms out.

"O, I even missed you, Bo-chan!"

Ciel stuck his arm out and stopped the man from getting closer. "Don't touch me."

Grell sighed and gave up, walking out into the hall. "Follow me then. There's something I want to show you."

The three of them walked silently, passing tired looking girls and boys dressed in awkward uniforms. They all perked up at the sight of the new shinigami head, and waved at him as they passed. "Hi, Grell!" They'd say, and he'd wave back.

Ciel thought this was a bit strange, but kept his eye on Sebastian, who followed the red-head with a concerned look on his face as if he knew where they were going.

Grell's heels click-clacked against the slick floor and stopped when they reached a long shelf in the middle of an empty cut-out of the hall. He clapped and did a small dance of joy. "I found it!"

"Grell, stop fooling around and show us what you wanted to. I have things to do today."

Ciel's voice got caught in a loud echo over the void of the rest of the room, making him seem slightly pissed. The flamboyant shinigami stopped and walked over to the shelf. He knelt down and Sebastian watched as he pulled out a dogled bound book from the bottom shelf.

"Here it is: the Life Book of the young Earl of Phantomhive."

Grell smiled as he walked over and patted the boy on the head. Ciel didn't seem too amused.

"What does this have to do with anything?" Sebastian asked, taking the book away from him. Somehow, he couldn't stop himself from opening the front cover to look at the picture of the small boy.

"Turn to page 53, please, Sebastian," Grell asked, leaning on the man's arm to read along with him. This seemed to annoy Sebastian greatly, but he complied.

"On June 19th, 1890, Ciel Phantomhive will encounter a haunting face from his past. He will try to ignore it, but there will be no escaping it."

Sebastian's voice turned grim.

"What's that supposed to mean," Ciel shouted, taking the book away from Sebastian.

Grell smiled and placed the book back on the shelf, spinning around in a self-pleasing happy dance.

"It means that tomorrow, you will die!"

Ciel froze. "What!"

Grell laughed madly and clung to Sebastian. "Just kidding!"

"Well, what does it really mean, Grell," Sebastian threw the shinigami off of him.

"It means that Bo-chan over there has some explaining to do."

Ciel scoffed. "What do I have to explain?"

"The reason that on page 53 of your book of life, you were supposed to die. Yet, you end up living through this 'special encounter' and going on for another couple hundred pages. It isn't fair! Something's messing with your life-span!"

Ciel seemed surprised, but Sebastian chuckled.

"My master does not die. He is a demon now."

"Not entirely," Grell smiled, snaking over to the boy with his sharp pointy teeth shining in the light.

"Ciel hasn't completed the transformation, Sebastian. You know that."

Sebastian growled and slammed Grell up against the nearest wall, sending a wave of shock through the room. The shinigami looked into the demon's eyes with fright.

"S-sebastian..."

"My master does not need to know of this! Do not speak of it!"

Sebastian dropped Grell, with that, to the floor and scooped Ciel up in his arms.

"Come, my young Lord, it is time to go home."

Ciel nodded and let Sebastian carry him out the door, leaving Grell stunned and hurt from his fall.


	5. Chapter 5

What had happened back at the Shinigami Library was not discussed among them until the young master was comfortably in his room and the butler was bringing him his nightly tea.

"My Lord, you look so grim. Are you angered?"

Ciel scoffed and turned his head as Sebastian set the tray on the nightstand beside him. The soft-white tea cups clattered together quietly.

"I don't want to talk about it, Sebastian. Please prepare me for bed."

The butler nodded slowly, trying to read his master's expression. Obviously, the incident with Grell both surprised him and made him horribly confused. Sebastian saw his eye begin to fade softly into a deep purple.

"Young Lord, I have upset you."  
>"What makes you say that?" Ciel tried to sound threatening, but his voice just came out weak and hurt. His eye, now a deep maroon, looked into the red eyes of his darling butler.<p>

Sebastian hid something from him. Something, obviously, that would hurt Ciel if he found out. But what possessed him to be so harsh and forceful on Grell? It wasn't like he was on the shinigami's side, but it did look like it hurt him when he hit the wall. Ciel tried to shrug off the thought as he looked at Sebastian's face. The butler smiled and extended a filled tea cup out to him.

"Here. Some fresh tea will make you feel better, I think."

"Whatever." Ciel took the cup and sipped the hot tea, eyeing Sebastian as the man stood up and walked over to the bathroom. He disappeared, and came back seconds later with a damp cloth and a comb.

"What are you doing, Sebastian?"

Sebastian smiled and set the empty tea cup on the night stand. He then untied the boy's eye patch and, with an almost motherly gesture, pushed the tip of the cloth against Ciel's pale face. Without a word, he gently wiped the boy's cheeks and forehead and chin, asking him to close his eyes to wipe his eyelids. When whatever he was trying to do was accomplished, he set the rag aside and took a seated position behind his young master.

"Bocchan, your hair is very nice."

Ciel thought that the butler was acting strange, but the compliments were new entirely. He felt Sebastian gently take his hair into his white-gloved hands and run the comb through each strand several times over. The butler's touch was far gentler than it was earlier that day. The Earl knew that Sebastian never cared about his hair or his eyes or his face, but why did he suddenly care now?

"You haven't called me that in ages, Sebastian."

That's all he could think to say, for he thought if he addressed the issues ahead of him then they would stop. And as much he hated to admit it, it felt nice. Really nice….

"Should I stop, Bocchan?" the butler smiled. He was now absent mindedly running his fingers through his master's hair. It was smooth and dark and beautiful…. He slowly stuck his forefinger in his mouth and pulled his gloves off with his teeth, placing them back in the boy's dark hair.

Ciel allowed himself to chuckle and shake his head. "No, it doesn't bother me."

Sebastian continued to weave his fingers through his hair and smiled widely, leaning close to his master's ear.

"So, what about Master Ciel?"

Ciel shuddered as the breath of his butler caught his earlobe and danced across his skin. He closed his eyes, but stopped himself from what he felt like doing.

"Let's not take this too far, Sebastian. You've never said my name before, so don't start now. And what makes you want to say it, anyway?"

Sebastian shrugged and turned his master to face him. He let his hands trail down the boy's pale jaw and slid his thumb across his lips. Ciel closed his eyes. "What in the world are you doing?"

"I..I don't know." And it was the truth. Sebastian had no idea what he was doing, but his heart was randomly leaping inside his chest, and his skin was beginning to rise into goose bumps along his neck and forearms. Ciel noticed Sebastian's discomfort and looked him in the eyes.

"You've been acting strange lately. Please tell me what's wrong."

After much hesitation, the butler complied. He brought his face near his master's and ran his thumb across Ciel's marked eye. The mark on his hand glowed as it got nearer to its other half. Ciel waited patiently for Sebastian to speak, but it took a while for him to find the right words.

"It's about the transformation, Ciel-um…Bocchan…"

Ciel smiled gently at the butler's discomfort. "It's alright, Sebastian. I'm not going to murder you for saying my name."

The butler shyly smiled at his beautiful master, his eyes glowing red.

"Thank you.. It's about the transformation. What Grell said today was right. You're not yet a full demon."

"Well, is that a bad thing?" Ciel unfolded his arms and looked down at his hands. A soft line the color of a raven's feather snaked across his left wrist: the hand of sin. It did not completely wrap around, but every day, he noticed the ends getting closer together. Sebastian took his wrist in his hands, tracing the line.

"Not exactly. That's why I've kept you in between for almost a year now."

"But Sebastian, why is it a bad thing to become a full demon like you? I want to be like you.."

Ciel didn't know why this sudden urge was upon him. He scooted closer to Sebastian and looked up at him with deep glowing eyes. Sebastian tried to ignore the stare, but found himself letting his face drop to fill the few inches between them. The tip of his nose was about to touch Ciel's, and he could feel the boy's hot breath softly hitting his cheek. The master was still so young, so fragile…so beautiful. Sebastian wouldn't dare let him meet the same terrible fate he was forced to live out.

Never. The boy could not do it, and Sebastian wouldn't dare let him. If Ciel Phantomhive became a full-fledged demon, the entire realm of darkness would be after him.

But that ring of shadows was about to close. And if he did not transform before that bondage was complete….

No. He still couldn't do it. He would not let Ciel go through that. Not in a million years, even if he'd have to live every single day of it. His master was too innocent, to pure, too frail. And no matter how horribly he felt the desire to go through with it, he couldn't. Being a demon was all about fighting your urges in order to not get what you want. Because in the long run, if a demon gets what he wants, his reason for being alive is no longer there. After all, isn't that why immortality exists? Because the ending of a life means that that person has completed his task.

But what Sebastian really wanted was to help his young master. If Ciel was safe and sound, then the demon was happy, and his heart was content. If Ciel did not complete his transformation before the line of shadows closed around him, he would die. That was the evil reality that Sebastian had to face, and he hated it almost as much as the alternative. Even if Ciel did want to become a demon- no, he refused to let himself think any more of it.

"Sebastian, you're…."

Ciel couldn't believe his eyes. Was Sebastian…crying? Could demons even cry? Ciel slid back to give the butler space, but the look in Sebastian's eyes sent him right back to his side. Ciel was shocked. Utterly shocked. What on earth possessed him with such sadness? Seeing the sight of this grown man silently letting streams of remorse fall down his cheeks almost made him want to do the same.

Sebastian noticed the salty tears quickly and wiped them off his cheeks, trying to hide them from his master.

"I'm so sorry, My Lord…"

"Sebastian, why are you crying?" Ciel's voice sounded so sweet and gentle to the demon. He closed his eyes and sighed, willing the tears away. When he opened them, he saw the look on his master's face and couldn't help wrapping his fingers around the quivering jaw of the boy.

"Because, My lord, I don't know what to do…"

Ciel shuddered as the feel of Sebastian's fingers around his neck sent a chill down his spine. He let the man's hands stay there for a moment, then he brought his face closer to Sebastian's, almost taken aback by the sudden desire to be close to him. Sebastian felt the pull as well, and knew that he had to eventually tell the master what was going to happen if he got any closer. But how could he? Ciel might never want to get this close to him again, or even be in the same room as him if he knew what he was feeling right now.

"Sebastian, tell me: why do I feel the sudden urge to-"

"My Lord.." Sebastian couldn't take it anymore. The pull was too strong, and he had to face the consequences. "C-ciel….Please do not hate me for what I am about to tell you."

Ciel nodded slowly, his eyes getting wide at the sudden nearness of his butler's mouth to his.

"Sebastian, what are you…"

"In order for you to become a full demon, you have to…you have to…"

"Spit it out, Sebastian!" Ciel wanted so badly to know what was happening, and Sebastian was shaking with nerves. Finally, it got really quiet, and for what seemed like hours, Sebastian just sat there with his hand on Ciel's jaw, their noses touching, and his breath tickling Ciel's cheek. His face hovered over his Master's for a long time, when he finally said the words he never wanted to say.

"You have to kiss a demon."

Silence.

"Did you hear me, my Lord?"

More silence. Ciel's heart fluttered in his chest. Not fluttered..more like wrung itself dry and slammed itself into his stomach. He felt like being sick, or closing his eyes and dying. Or…worse. Ciel felt every inch of his body longing to be closer to Sebastian. Every muscle in his neck wanted to flex upward so that his lips would meet the butler's. Oh, the feeling he would get from kissing Sebastian's forbidden mouth.

But Ciel had never kissed anyone before. He had never felt this way about anyone before. Looking back on his feelings-and his dreams- over the last few days, however, it all began to make sense.

"I love him," the words escaped his mouth before he could stop them, "I can't believe it…I love him."

He looked up at Sebastian. "I love you…"

Sebastian's eyes widened. "What?"

"I…Love…You. I said it."

"Bocchan..you don't know what you're saying."

Ciel reached up, wrapped his hand around Sebastian's neck, pulling his face closer and closer until the space between them disappeared. Their lips met, and for the first time since his childhood, Ciel felt alive. Truly alive.

Sebastian groaned audibly and yanked the boy into his arms, plunging his tongue into Ciel's mouth. Ciel hesitated a little.

"Sorry…I should be gentle.."

"No, it's okay. I've just never done this before."

The two smiled and their lips met again. Ciel followed Sebastian's lead until he was lost in unknown emotion that made him want to cry out and grip Sebastian in places he didn't ever think about before.

It frightened him terribly. But most of all, it made him feel an emotion he had longed his entire life to feel.

Love.


	6. Chapter 6

Ciel's spine hurt when he woke up. It was a sensation of being choked that awoke the young lord from his slumber with such a start that he hit his head on the wall behind him. His eyes looked around the room, but not even a shadow stirred about. He heard the flapping of wings, but nothing appeared to him. The pain in his back just worsened, and he wiped his eyes, suddenly halting as he caught the sight of his left wrist. The black line had disappeared, and replaced itself with a thick black cursive L on the inside of his wrist surrounded by a thin outline of flames. He balled his hands into fists before him and flexed his fingers, gasping as long black claws stretched out of his fingertips.

"SEBASTIAN!" he cried out into the empty space, feeling pain in his eyes, his back, and his hands. He wanted to die or scream or both. He had the urge to writhe in agony on the floor, twist his body in ways he never thought possible, and rip his heart from his chest.

He felt something inside his chest rattle around and tug hard on his rib cage as if they were the bars of a jail cell. He screamed over and over, feeling himself crying. "Sebastian, Sebastian!"

He shut his eyes tight and imagined his sweet Butler's face. The kind way he smiled at him all the time, and the deep chuckle he always tried to hide as if Ciel would hurt him for doing so. His face deeply resembled a cats, and so did his stealth and agility. And although Ciel was allergic to the tiny beasts, he secretly admired them and enjoyed watching them love on Sebastian.

Another sharp pain rose from inside his chest, causing him to scream again and writhe so hard that soon the cold floor greeted his face with a chilled slap. He lay there, face down on the frozen tiles, and realized finally that this wasn't his room. Where he was, he did not know, but fear instantly overtook him as flashbacks of the cult threatened to rid him of sanity.

His chest was being crushed, his back was breaking, his skin was being pulled off his bones.

"SebastiAAAAAAANNNNN!"

The young Lord cried out again, closing his eyes and imagining his last memory playing out again. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the pain dulled a bit, and Ciel felt like he was slowly being lifted up. He quietly whispered as the realization came upon him that he was dying, "Sebastian... I love you Sebastian... I love...you..."

Ciel heard a very distant door slam open, and several footsteps run toward him. He felt a slight tingle as two hands lay upon his back, shaking him, but they were so distant.

"Master! Master Ciel!"

The very far away cries of a distraught maid... That was the last thing he remembered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~•

"Mister Sutcliffe."

The redheaded Shinigami looked up from the golden book in his hands to see two thick black boots before him. He followed them up to the person's face, then realizing who it was, ignored them and continued to read.

"Grell."

Grell sighed and struggled to fight a small tear that threatened to creep out of his left eye. As he read the words before him, the ink began to get blurry as more and more armies of tears waited for him to blink.

The Undertaker knelt down and patted Grell on the knee. He didn't know why the Shinigami was so upset, but he wanted his old friend back.

Grell was aware of the Undertaker's presence, but he said nothing as he watched the words snake across the page of the Lifebook before him.

Ciel Phantomhive then took his last breath, screaming "Sebastian! Sebastian!"

"Grell, what is wrong? You've been acting like this for days. Ever since young Willy died, you've been acting just like him! Quiet, reserved, you won't even talk to me!"

The Shinigami looked at his old friend and sighed. He clicked his tongue against his shark-like teeth, and his green eyes darted around the room, looking for anyone watching.

"The Phantomhive boy's now a full demon."

The Undertaker's raspy laugh broke the minute long silence that hung over them. He stood and took the golden bound book from Grell.

"Phantomhive, Ciel. What a charming young boy..."

He bowed his head and threw the book aside. It hit the floor with a Thud, and Grell cringed.

"Well, well..." the Undertaker laughed, walking over to the wounded book and kicking it over, "The boy, then, must disappear."

He stepped on the cover and sighed, throwing back his large hood to reveal his scar.

"Ronald isn't going to like this..." Grell muttered, knowing what the young man's ties were to the devil. The Undertaker nodded and walked out, leaving the book there to stay.

Back at the Manor, Finnian sat on the couch desperately trying to comfort a weeping blonde girl in a blue gown and bonnet. Her maid was on the other side, trying to calm her as well. The girl's eyes were green and glossy, and her frail hands shook as she took the handkerchief from her maid's hand.

"Lady Elizabeth, please stop crying."  
>"O, Finny! You should have seen him! He's not moving.. He's not responding to anything I say!"<p>

"He will wake up soon, m'lady," said her maid.  
>"Paula, no. There's no hope! Oh, my poor Ciel!"<p>

The girl sobbed and Mey-Lynn poured her some tea. Nina smoothed her skirt anxiously as Bardroy paced back and forth, Xena following his every move.

"O, where is Sebastian? He's been gone for hours, he has!"

Mey-Lynn shook with the horrible memory of seeing her master lying on the bathroom floor, still and quiet. His eyes were crying red tears, and his arm was shaking.

What the Hell had happened to him?  
>He and Sebastian had gone upstairs right when they got home that afternoon. Everything had been fine... Now Ciel was dead.<br>Well, he wasn't exactly dead...  
>He was still breathing when Sebastian got home, but no matter what anyone said or did, he wouldn't open his eyes or move at all. It has been three hours since Mey-Lynn and Elizabeth discovered him, and Elizabeth still wouldn't shut up.<p>

"Please, Lady Elizabeth, calm down.."

"NO! My poor Ciel! He's gone he's gone!"

"Paula, why don't you take Lady Elizabeth home. We will let you know if he wakes up." Bardroy nodded in Lizzie's direction. She nodded, and Nina led them to the door. She watched sadly as the blonde bound her way down the path to the awaiting carriage, the brunette lady chasing after her. Nina closed her eyes and went to shut the door, when it hit the toe of a thick black boot.

"Sebastian?"

Nina looked up and saw the grim face of the butler. He looked at her for a while, then walked right past and bounded up the stairs. A large bottle of blue liquid hung from his hand.

"My Lord? Are you awake?"  
>Sebastian's voice softly filled the dark room. Tanaka had made sure to turn off all the lights and make sure the young lord was cozy in bed. Sebastian walked to the nightstand and peered down at the boy's still face. He looked so peaceful, but Sebastian knew that he must be in pain. He removed his coat and hung it on the edge of the bed, sitting quietly beside his master.<p>

"My Lord, you must wake up now. No one's here, it's just me."

Ciel heard the voice and tried to open his eyes, but he was so weak.  
>"S...se..."<p>

His throat felt tight and constricted. He felt Sebastian sit behind him and pick him up gently, sitting him up.

"There you are. Drink this, my lord. You will feel better."

Ciel felt a cool glass push against his lips. He parted them with great efforts and Sebastian poured it in his mouth. The chill shocked the boy, and he almost choked. Sebastian chuckled.

"I know. It's called Spirit Tea. I made it with the new moon tea leaves just before I came home. It's cold because I stuck it in ice."

Ciel swallowed and felt himself groan in pleasure as the chilly liquid filled his throat and stomach, making sure to sooth his entire body on the way.

"Open your eyes, M'lord."

Ciel wanted to open his eyes. He wanted to look at his divine butler's beautiful face and smile and remember. But he couldn't. His body ached badly, and although the drink was cold, it did not entirely douse the fire that burned inside his chest.

"S...Sebastian?"

The demon felt a sigh of relief overtake him. He hugged the boy tight and pressed his forehead to his. "Bocchan, please open your eyes."

"Sebastian..." the boy smiled slightly. "Kiss me."

The butler smiled. "Bocchan, you saw what my kisses do."

"I'll open my eyes."

"Fine." Sebastian looked at his face and pulled him closer. He loved Ciel. He loved everything about the boy, especially the obnoxious attitude he possessed.

He kissed the boy on the lips. First gently, then harder, holding him close. Ciel smiled and kissed him back, and suddenly feeling able to move, he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck.

When the kiss ended, he opened his eyes to see his butler's beautiful face.

"Sebastian..."

"Yes my Lord?"

"I should hate you. You almost killed me."

Sebastian hung his head. "Yes...I did. I am sorry, Bocchan."

"I don't hate you," said the fresh demon boy. He sat up to face his love, smiling like the brat he was, "I thank you. I love you, and admire you. Now I can be as strong as you."

Sebastian smiled. "Yes. But my Lord, you have to train to become as powerful as me."

"Will you train me, Sebastian?"

He nodded. "I suppose I must. After all, that's what I do. Because I am simply one hell of a butler." 


End file.
